Controlling The Controllable
Control the controllable and leave the rest to God.
Some y’all want a faithful man or a faithful woman, but you aren’t even being faithful to yourself or your own commitments. One of my favorite sayings is by Andy Stanley where he asks, “Are you the person you’re looking for is looking for?” If not, now is the time to become that person. Do you think it’s going to be easier or harder when you are in a new relationship to start a new workout plan, sign up for therapy or write the book God told you to write six years ago? Hint hint, it’s going to be harder! We all have this notion that someday we’ll (fill in the blank). Well there are seven days in a week and someday isn’t one of them.
No, if you are serious about building a life that you absolutely love walking up to (aka “your promised land”) one of the best ways in my humble but accurate opinion is by “Controlling the Controllables” right now. What do I mean by that? Well, let’s talk about the difference between a “Controllable” and an “Uncontrollable.”
I think we can all agree there are things outside of our control in life. For these things, all we can do is put ourselves in a position for them to happen or not happen, but really we have zero control over the outcome. For example, meeting the love of your life is uncontrollable. Sure, we can put ourselves in a position to meet someone by getting on a dating site and putting our best foot forward in the way we present ourselves but the timing of that person coming into our lives is in God’s hands. We can exercise and eat healthy to keep our immune system healthy, but at the end of the day, we don’t have that much control over an unexpected health condition either.
Something I’ve seen too many times to count is that we use things we can’t control as excuses to not do the things we can control. For example, let’s say your house needs to be remodeled, but you don’t have the money to do it, but you don’t even keep it clean which costs nothing. Similarly, it doesn’t cost anything to go to bed early or wake up early or make your bed, exercise, meal prep, or read or listen to a book every day. But people make excuses all the time about the family they were born into, their genetics, relationship status, or a million other reasons to take the easy way out of not even trying. They get their eyes on what they don’t have and forget to work with what they do. I’ve heard it said “you can make excuses or you can make it happen, you can’t do both.”
God measures our capacity by how we use what he has given us now. Is he going to give us more if we aren’t good stewards of what we have “control” over now? Probably not. To become the best version of yourself you have to do the best with what you have. The Word says, “You have been faithful with a little so I will make you ruler over much.” Why would God give you a new car, a new house, or a partner if you’re not taking care of yourself and what you have right now?
Trust me though, the struggle is real, I feel your pain. Even a self-motivated, assertive, person like myself will sometimes allow the things outside of my control wear me down emotionally, to the point where I start letting things go that I can control. I’ve done this plenty of times myself over the last several years as life got harder. Just the other day I caught myself making excuses for some sloppy behavior, “Well, if I had more money, I could… “, but then I realized there were several things that I could be doing that don’t cost a dime that I’ve been neglecting. Even highly driven people can let the “uncontrollables” of life deter them from taking action. For me I’ve noticed this happens when I start to lose hope that the sacrifices are going to amount to anything and I start focusing on what I cannot control.
There were times over the last four years specifically when I asked myself and God “what’s the point?!” I wasn’t seeing much traction or progress, or at least not enough to justify the amount of work I was putting in. So what did I do? I started making excuses and playing the victim, rather than just doing what I had power over and trusting God with the outcome. This I’m sure made the breakthrough take longer and this is the place where most people quit; but this is also the place where endurance is developed. To be honest, I was just doing everything in my power not to throw in the towel.
Here’s what I’ve learned on how to get through it successfully.
1. The first step is making sure your vision is crystal clear because when your vision is greater than your pain, transformation occurs. When you identify exactly what you want in life and it’s a lot better than your current reality, it becomes a burning desire that compels you to go after it in spite of the pain because it’s something you want so badly that it physically hurts you to not have it. This is like your blueprint from God. What concrete steps can you take to manage the things you can control so that you can develop the mindset and environment which God can bless you? A great way to do this is to attend our annual RISE Conference where you map out your actionable steps for an entire year with the help of six coaches who will help you set goals in every area of your life from fitness to finances to self-esteem.
2. Always keep that vision in front of you and control what you can, then trust God to handle the things out of your control. The reason for this is that when things get hard and painful, and they will, all you need to know is that you are where you are supposed to be, and you can trust that God will bring the blessings as long as you don’t give up.
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9.
Trust the promises of God, not your feelings, and believe that it’s all going to come together if you put the work in.
3. Talk to God constantly. The pain lessens if you talk to God as you walk through the wilderness to your Promised Land. Imagine you were having surgery and you could talk to the doctor as it was happening, letting him know where you were feeling pain or discomfort. The pain might not go away but knowing that you were heard and understood would help. God sees the bigger picture that we cannot, He’s the author. Control your end and let him write the story. Don’t get too caught up in what you don’t have or comparanoia looking at what others have or are doing, just run the race marked out for you to the best of your ability. Again this is where perseverance comes in.
4. Surround yourself with a supportive community because you will need some good people to will encourage you and speak into your life. That’s one of the things CityFam members have done for me. This is a marathon, not a sprint, and you won’t make it alone. There’s a verse in the Bible that says “The joy of the Lord is my strength” (Nehemiah 8:10). You need to have moments of joy where you are enJOYing life in order to have the strength to press on. Sometimes all that kept me going were those moments of joy at a watch party or a CityFam social event, that filled my cup enough to push another week so that I could continue to “control the controllable.”
If you want to chart your course for the year and make 2023 the year that you take charge of what you can control so that God can show you the great plans He has for you, join us at our annual RISE Goals Conference online or in person. We are going to enjoy a fabulous time together in beautiful Destin, Florida and we will each come back with a vision for our lives along with a detailed plan so that we work and watch God work. I can’t think of a better way to start the New Year!
Ask yourself today, what are some ways you can Do what you can, with what you have, where you are (Teddy Roosevelt), and make plans to join us online or in person in Destin this January!